Every one of us has a personal scream. Maybe, more !!!
I am about to share mine. Maybe, your scream will get company. Maybe, peace will descend. Maybe, strength will develop. Maybe, you will smile all the way from your heart. Maybe, ghosts will be exorcised.
Psychic calamity ! Shattered nerves ! Limited means as the default position ! Having to repay too much with too little resources ! Setting priorities. Failing miserably. Resetting priorities. Failing again. This was a daily chore.
While nights were an escape, the mornings were haunted for people will come to the door step again. Every time the door bell rung, something inside me disintegrated a little. There was swirling chaos in the mind and vacant expressions in the eyes. No one heard my silent screams that begged attention but I was too proud to ask.
Everyone looking at me with sympathy or a snarl was the touchstone of troubled times. I used to look in the mirror searching for a powerful image. What stared back was an unforgettable dense brooding face. Its power to shock me remained undiminished for a long time. The heart released a personal scream that never abated in its disorientation. There used to be a negative emotional response to about everything.
The ultimate embodiment of fear, alienation, became a fact of life. My life was fraught and anxiety driven.
My case study could have launched a thousand therapists
Me and my family was going through the toughest times of our life.
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